Let’s Give Thanks To Our Past Lovers

This post is written from a place of respect. I want to thank my past lovers for what each of them gave me.

We rarely thank those we’ve loved. Conflicting emotions often accompany breakups. It causes us to lose appreciation for what we gained from our experience with another. This time, I’d like to pay positive homage to those who helped me to become who I am, in and out of the bedroom.

Nikita: I have fond memories of you—of us.

We laughed at the little things. Much of what we found funny back then still makes me smile. What you gave me was playfulness. You encouraged the quirky side of love at every chance. Our bodies synchronised so well in the bedroom, too. Forty years and many lovers later, I can honestly say how similar we were.

Thanks for your light-heartedness. I drew from that and incorporated it into my life after we ended. Thank you.

I also learned that no matter how great the sex is, it doesn’t guarantee good love for life. We may have been compatible between the sheets, but there was little substance beyond it. And that’s okay. We were so young.

I’m so sorry I didn’t let go of you when it ended. Inexperience blinded me. Inexperience is okay, too.

Nadine: Friendship was important to you. Communication mattered. Trustworthiness came in a close second.

I could take you anywhere to meet anyone, and that counts. You never offended anyone I introduced you to, and you never gave them mixed signals. You organised yourself to be responsible and empathetic too. It wasn’t lost on me.

You also showed me that diving into sex too soon can ruin a good friendship, destroying the parts of a couple that are meant to hold them together later. You took your time. You were organised. That kind of sensible, levelheadedness is your superpower. I drew energy from that and even embraced some of it for myself after we parted.

You are the one who also introduced me to the term asexuality — a word that was totally unfamiliar to me at the time. I have taken what I learned about it on board. Thank you. I won’t get fooled again.

Angela: You proved that some mothers crave a new kind of sexuality after a long-term relationship fails badly. I could see you were making up for lost time and desperate to experience all you could in the time we had together.

You wanted someone to appreciate the other side of you, and I was there at the right time. I hope what I had was enough to nourish that part of your soul.

You came with a hunger the others never had. It made what you gave me feel incredibly raw. It woke another level of man in me. Thanks for bringing that insatiable creature to the surface. You’re all woman, every wonderful bit of you.

I’m so grateful to have been invited into your lustful world. Angela. You were a blessing in my life.

Lana: A year-long part-time threesome with your husband. At first, I couldn’t figure out how it all happened, but I soon understood when things got going.

I thought the premature ejaculation thing was a product of female exaggeration until I saw it happen in real time. I get it now. I really get it. You needed more from a man, and the one you had wasn’t enough. I’m in awe of you two for breaking boundaries to get satisfaction.

Good on you. That took real courage.

You proved that love and sex can be reworked to fit any model it needs to make it work. I may use that for myself later. Thank you to both of you.

There were other lovers, but I’ll keep this post on the short side. You get the idea from this sample.

These relationships came with four significantly different encounters with unique sexual interactions. I have no regrets or shame over any of them. What I have are experiences.

A life well-lived crosses many roads. There’s nothing wrong with crossing roads and walking paths.

I feel privileged to have met some great lovers while crossing the roads of life.

Everyone found happiness.

Life continued.

The stars didn’t explode.

Giving thanks to our past lovers should matter to all of us. It cleanses the soul and makes us better people — for other people.

Smile, and let go of any lingering relationship negativity.

Embrace the positives.

Love is a journey, not a destination.

–Mitchell