Does your partner play hard to get all the time? Are they always too tired or too busy to engage in sex? He or she could be asexual.
It’s so unromantic to talk about sexual deficits in our marriages and relationships. No one wants to hear it, least of all our partners.
And doing so ruins sex’s spontaneity, doesn’t it? What’s worse than that is that negotiating feels like begging. Who wants to beg for sex? It’s unromantic. Demoralising.
Just like gay, lesbian and all the other sexual variants, asexuality can hide in a closet. Your sexless relationship may not result from fatigue, routine or boredom. Your partner may be asexually inclined and doesn’t know it.
The marriage cliche that ends in happily ever after isn’t as practical as the fairy tale tells us it should be. We start out playing the marriage game the way we were taught (or learned) to play it, but it turns out to become another game entirely. Some of us find asexual partners who simply don’t lie down.
For the asexual person, it’s no big deal.
About one per cent of the population is said to be asexual. That’s about the same as all the other non-heterosexual types. It’s regularly overlooked because there’s a general belief that we are all attracted to someone and that sex is a normal action. It’s assumed. If sex is not working, then the blame goes elsewhere.
The truth is, sex is NOT for everyone. This should be considered. It’s not an illness. It’s not a falling out of love. It’s not a fad either, just a sexuality type. [There is a lot more detailed information about asexuality on this specialist asexuality website]
An asexual requires no sex. If you’re the partner of an asexual, then this discovery should be received as great news. Your sexless relationship isn’t your fault. You’re not the cause of it. You did nothing wrong. You’ve simply tried to live a normal, sexual lifestyle and an asexual got caught up in that bubble.
There is the added bonus of knowing you can’t change your spouse’s sexual orientation. It’s fixed. All you can do is change yourself.
What you do with this new knowledge will set you on a new path to a better future. You get to map a unique course all of your own.
You may not be happy about charting a new course, but staying on the same one leads to the same destination for the same reasons.
Asexuality is real. Sexless relationships and asexuality are often tied together. The question you’re probably asking is: How would I know if my partner is asexual, or how come they don’t know they are asexual?
They aren’t easy questions to answer. All I know about the topic went into my book.
It’s transgressive, dark fiction based on a real sexless relationship. It follows a couple who haven’t yet let go of tradition. It almost kills their marriage. Much of it is real. The rest is an artistic license to energise the story.
Enjoy reading it today!
–Michael (Dark Fiction. Author of SEETHINGS (the first book), free for a limited time)
SEETHINGS promises a gripping psychological thriller that blends murder, passion, and secrets of a sexless marriage. Forman’s vivid prose draws readers into a world where lightning illuminates the skies and hidden truths. As the storm clouds gather, Mitchell’s journey promises to unravel more than just the mystery of the murders.
Download eBook Here Now (Free, Limited Time)
Discover more from Michael Forman – Author of Dark Fiction & Drama
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