LGBTQIA+ Humour: Acronym Grows, Gets a Chop, And Then a Wildcard To Save Time.

Acronyms. I love ’em. If we do them right, they’ll lead us to the promised land, singing Kumbaya under the giant rainbow of love and inclusion.

Our desire to shorten long texts to a bunch of letters is unmistakable. We do it to everything. It seems we’re more likely to embrace something new if it can be condensed into an acronym.

Queer should party. After all, rainbow love is today’s new shiny.

And the world needs to explore its wider sexistentiality, right?

Unfortunately, the acronym is way too long. So many sexualities, too many letters. There isn’t time. There’s too much of them. We need to save vital space, time and effort. It comes down to priorities.

When we’re pushed for every second, where do we go to get a lite version of this heady acronym?

Of all those in the full lineup, who doesn’t need representation? Who wouldn’t be missed and not find offence for being left out? Let’s see.

A!

Asexual. Asexual? What’s that?

It’s the one who doesn’t need sex. Mostly, they don’t care about it. They want to be left alone.

As far as I see, A can have their space and leave the letter lineup. Goodbye A.

Next!

I. Intersex.

It sounds like something intergalactic. Surely, this is not about alien sex? Whatever it is, it’s out of this world! Beam them out, Scottie!

Well, let’s see, it’s getting difficult. Who do we launch into orbit next?

Studying the letters in the original long-form acronym offers good clues to their priorities. They didn’t land in this order randomly. Let’s jump to the front of it and take a look at what’s there.

L. Lesbians. Ah, yes. Things make sense now.

Thanks to the remnants of old-world thinking, ladies came first. We can see that this high-priority group takes precedence. Don’t forget: Lesbianism is feminism squared, and that trumps masculism every time.

Huh? Masculism?

Nevermind.

Feminism’s branding means they have to stay. And they definitely lead the charge.

G. Males follow close behind because men being moved to second place is what modern equality is all about.

B. Bisexual. Males and females who don’t mind being with males or females. Everyone loves everyone. No one is excluded. It’s almost as if they and their utopian ideals should lead the group.

Stay too.

T. Transgender. Males and females who switch to become females and males, respectively. Some are gay. Some are lesbians. Some are bisexual. That’s more diversity than you can poke a stick at. I say stay and play some stickball, okay?

So we’ve done some serious trimming to the acronym.

We’ve kept the most important letters and shaved off valuable fractions of a second, saving the world from ploughing through extraneous babble.

Four letters are better than seven. That’s efficiency. Totally.

These are the most inclusive group of people in the world (while excluding the great H cohort, of course).

By adding a plus sign, we have introduced a special wildcard. It restores what was lost and includes sexualities we haven’t yet discovered, claimed or identified.

Isn’t that magic?

I’ve already seen some clever use of the wildcard.

LGBT+ and LGB+ are being used, and nobody seems to mind. With luck, maybe LGBTQIA will become +, and we’ll fit even more into our days.

*Add sarcastic grin here*

–Michael (Dark Fiction. Author of SEETHINGS (the first book), free for a limited time)