I’ve been thinking a lot about the word “No” lately. It used to be a statement, a conclusion. Now, it feels more like a speed bump—something to slow things down, not stop them entirely.
In sales meetings, “No” is just a disguised “Yes.” Give it time. Ask the right questions. Apply a little pressure. Be persistent. The “No” will bend to a “Yes.” In some cultures, the word barely exists anymore—replaced by endless negotiation, compromise, workarounds, and delays. I fear that in my own culture, we’re losing it, too.
We teach children that “No” means “No.” We expect them to understand and respect it. But do they see us living the “No” lesson? Do they watch adults hear “No” and accept it? Or do they see deals being made, persistence rewarded, and boundaries pushed until they crumble?
Even in parenting, we rarely let “No” stand on its own. Instead, we soften it, redirect it, and bargain with it. “No, you can’t have dessert—unless you finish your dinner.” “No, you can’t have more screen time—but if you do this, maybe later.” It’s always up for discussion. It’s rarely conclusive.
So what happens when boys and girls grow up and find themselves in situations where “No” isn’t negotiable? Will they recognise it? Will they respect it? Or will they assume, as they’ve seen time and time again, that persistence will change the outcome?
This worries me because “No” should still mean something. It should stand firm. It should be enough to say it. Without it, we risk raising generations who don’t know how to say it and don’t know how to hear it. Don’t know when to stop.
It’s time to bring “No” back. Without explanation. Without apology. Without expectation that it will turn into a “Yes.” Because sometimes, “No” is exactly what needs to be said—and heard.
What do you think? Does “No” still carry weight where you are?
Mitchell Felding has been trapped behind an obscene “No” lock for years. Old-school beliefs passed to him by his mother worked perfectly fine while he was dating his young love, Samantha. Her wish to remain celibate before their wedding day was bolstered by Michael’s “No” means “No” upbringing. Life was balanced when both had working reasons to keep sex out of the equation.
Asexuality is a nasty thing to discover post-nuptials. Neither spoke of it. Neither suggested it. Their counsellor never broached the topic. Abstinence had hidden an awful secret. The good Catholic girl became a pious Catholic woman who did not require physical intimacy to sustain her marriage. When the time came for children, God would bless them—without intercourse. It happened once before! We pick up the story here.
After ten awkward years, the family planning months pass by. Samantha puts the couple on a special diet and tells everyone they will soon have children. At home, she refuses Mitchell at every turn. Mitchell’s mind is swirling with confusion and frustration, but “No” still means “No.”
The rest of the story is here. It’s downloadable and free for a limited time.
-M
Discover more from Michael Forman – Author of Dark Fiction & Drama
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