Married Couples Who Have A LOT Of Sex Are Sharing All Their Secrets on Reddit

“We have inside jokes and things we say to get the other one going.”

If you’ve ever wondered how some married couples managed to keep things spicy after being together for a long time, you’ve come to the right place.

Men, women, and parents of Reddit shared their tips and secrets for maintaining a good sex life, and it’s time to pay attention.

I’ve compiled 19 of the best tips:

1. “Married for 16 years. Our sex life is amazing…just be sure to continue dating your wife even after being married for years. We go out every weekend, either on a Friday or a Saturday. Too many people stop ‘dating’ after they get married. Sex life suffers when you stop.”

–Speedy059

2. “Ask. Communicate, over-communicate. Make her feel desired. I like to text my wife ahead of time and let the tension build a little. I also make sure shit is done around the house so she feels comfortable when she gets home, and those pesky annoying running-the-day chores don’t distract her.”

–I_am_Reddington

3. “We bought the Adventure Challenge In Bed book a while ago. It’s a bunch of sex challenges. They can be goofy, risky, romantic, etc. All over the place, but everyone we’ve done has been a blast. It really got us to think about sex differently.”

–RevolutionaryCoyote

4. “I invented a sex game that we play based on poker. It’s a lot of fun and gets us doing various sex acts. She dresses in lingerie, which I bought her, and I have a music playlist with good energy and nostalgic songs that are a little sex-oriented.”

–MrEHam

5. “Good communication. Having the confidence to open up about something you want to try without the fear of judgment is amazing for a great sex life.”

–SJ548

6. “Having sex in public places has been our thing lately, and it’s so much fun. Not like blatantly public, like in a park, more like less travelled places like a parking garage or a hiking trail at night. We’ve had to be really sneaky, which heightens the excitement and the enjoyment.”

–King_Cargo_Shorts

7. “Try giving her a back rub and JUST a back rub. Her mind will be 🤯. Hug her without groping her. Basically, show her affection and love without sex.”

“Don’t mix up foreplay with affection. Too often, when a back rub ends with you expecting sex, she won’t want your affection. If she doesn’t want your affection, she definitely won’t want foreplay. She will shut down every time you touch her. It’s a horrible cycle that needs to be broken.”

–MaybeCheri

8. “Cannabis! High sex is rad. Weed lube is good, too.”

–Compulsory_Freedom

9. “Morning sex was the ace for us. Wake up an hour before the kids. It was a lot easier when they all hit school age; no one home on lunch breaks and earlier bedtimes gave us some options.”

–whisky_decision

10. “We flirt. A lot. We basically keep a low boil of sexual tension going throughout the day. And because it’s a hot give and take, we both enjoy the banter back and forth. We have inside jokes and things we say to get the other one going. Even if it’s texting throughout the work day, we spend a lot of time keeping that pump primed through communication and appreciating each other.”

–tootytotty

11. “Regular date nights so sex doesn’t keep getting put off.”

–sixninefortytwo

12. “We taught our kids at a young age that it was fun to stay in your own room and that when someone has their bedroom door closed, you must knock and wait to be invited in. So when they went to bed, they were happy to be in their own rooms by themselves, and if there was a problem (sick, scared, whatever), they knew they could knock on our door, and we’d help them. That level of respect for privacy and personal space from an early age really helped us have a normal healthy sex life when they were young.”

–avgdonjuan

13. “Energy can lead to more energy. Not if you are completely burnt out, but a 15-minute workout a day, a fun hobby, and a healthy diet can really help. Coming home and cooking a nice meal with your spouse, laughing and sharing chores instead of doom scrolling, etc.”

–GlitteringIntern89

14. “Talking in the middle of sex! Letting them know in the moment what was and wasn’t working makes a big difference. It seems so awkward at first, but it improves the experience so much. Then they’re able to adjust and correct things that aren’t working for you in the moment, which makes it much more enjoyable and intimate.”

–depressioninsomnia

15. “Clean the house. She starts asking for and is receptive to new things when she feels valued and comfortable. And new things are the answer for us.”

–Adamantitian

16. “I focus on making myself attractive to my husband. The biggest thing for us was him being able to communicate with me how he wanted to be seduced. I’m flexible with what time we have sex as long as we have sex daily or every other day. We try new positions, and I buy new toys all the time. I text him during the day, telling him how attractive I find him. We didn’t have kids, so it’s easy for us to focus all of our energy on prioritizing our sex life.”

–snowconetypebanana

17. “Been together 17 years and still manage about four-to-five-plus times a week. The key to a great time in the bedroom is making sure all of your partner’s needs are met outside of the bedroom. THREE THINGS! Remove stressors/chores, communicate, and increase non-sexual intimacy.”

–RuggedDave

19. “Toys are your friend. Bust out the vibrators, dildos, vibrating rings, whatever she wants. The possibilities are endless!”

–AMorder0517

Do you have any sexy tips that belong on this list? Let us know in the comments!

Responses have been edited for length/clarity.