Character Spotlight: Super-Organised Samantha Felding

Sam is a highly trustworthy, dependable woman, personable and tidy. She’s a loyal friend, supportive sister and model daughter to her parents. Her work ethic is focused and flawless. She is also asexual but doesn’t know it.

Samantha Felding.

• Thirty-something
• Married to Mitchell Felding (10 years.)
• High School Educator
• Highly Self–Motivated
• High Achiever
• Dedicated Christian
• Treasures Her Childhood Teddy Bear

Samantha remembers names, birthdays and anniversaries without prompting. She reads the obituaries just in case someone she knows passes away. Sympathy cards are bought, stored and sent immediately. Heartfelt messages always accompany them. Letters are written in longhand, grammatically correct from the first word to the last.

There are calendars and clocks in every room of Sam’s home. A day planner sits on her desk, and she has three other diaries in her home. She has a plethora of reminder messages written on Post-it notes, which are stuck on a pinboard beside her computer. Not one second of her day is wasted on frivolous activities. She has organised everything within an inch of its life. Some say she’s an old soul in a young body — too empathetic and disciplined to be a product of her generation.

Winging it isn’t her style. I doubt it’s even in her vocabulary.

She’s a high-school teacher and is highly competent. Her recent promotion to Department Head was a result of her high standard of officiousness. She deserved the appointment. Those she works with agree. She’s an intelligent, strong and independent woman. Ask her if she’s a feminist, and she’ll answer with a resounding no. She’d simply say she was getting the job done – a trait of humbleness she got from her mother.

Oh yes, that humble, hard-working, quiet achiever type is an admirable trait, but it fools the best of them. Husband Mitchell sees another side that isn’t shown to everyone else. Deep on the inside, Sam’s a wreck. She’s anxious and conflicted with almost everything. She’s a professional woman struggling with the modern expectations of feminism, and religion, with old-fashioned Christian values. It comes at a price, and it makes her doubt herself. It also keeps her asking herself over and over: “Am I doing enough for God?”

She tries so hard not to disappoint Him, but she’s still unsure. This means she has something to worry about every second of the day.

Sugar can be a challenge.

Brown or white sweetener for coffee guests? Should it come in a bowl with a shared spoon, or independent stirrers instead? What if the coffee is too strong, or not strong enough? Milk, cream, or both? What if the discussion turns political while they’re drinking the coffee? There should be a safe, go-to topic in case of an emergency. Oh yes, tea must be made available too. What about artificial sweeteners? Some people are on diets and would be offended if that wasn’t made available.

It’s challenging to be Sam.

Needless to say, spontaneity threatens to ruin Sam’s carefully arranged world. Even Mitchell has to book in to visit his wife. Sex is a somewhat frivolous, uncivilised activity. It’s last on Sam’s to-do list. That’s why, after a decade, the couple is childless.

Counsellor Tony Brindell is about to open Pandora’s Box by asking him a straightforward question.

–Michael