‘Sexual intercourse, or coitus or copulation, is principally the insertion and thrusting of a male’s penis, usually when erect, into a female’s vagina for the purposes of sexual pleasure or reproduction. This is also known as vaginal intercourse or vaginal sex. Other forms of penetrative sexual intercourse include penetration of the anus by the penis (anal sex), penetration of the mouth by the penis or oral penetration of the female genitalia (oral sex), sexual penetration by the fingers (fingering), and penetration by use of a strap-on dildo. These activities involve physical intimacy between two or more individuals and are usually used among humans solely for physical or emotional pleasure and commonly contribute to human bonding.’
Provided by The People (my comment follows):
Boring and unattractive for most of us to read, right?
Nevertheless, I prefer Wikipedia’s dissection over a standard dictionary’s explanation. Not only is it modernized (less medical jargon), but it’s constantly evolving. Everyone has an opinion, and over time, WIKI averages them out. The number of citations and amendment marks on the page proves it.
As the definition changes and grows, with little pieces of the puzzle being added to it periodically, the answers to what sex is to humans appear to come from a complex, endless source. Human sexuality variants are as diverse as colours in the visible light spectrum.
And we haven’t yet broached the topic of emotions that accompany it.
If you want to cool a sex talk down, talk about connection. Most of us agree that there is something beyond the physical side of sex that we yearn for. Some attach the word love to it. And then others choose to steer right away from that definition only to muddy up the waters again.
To me, the water is crystal clear.
Sexuality is an extension of a much simpler need or two.
- I exist
- I matter.
Babies know this feeling. A mother reaches out and touches her baby for the first time and the journey of existence begins. The baby knows I exist when its mother holds it. We carry that desire to be held into adulthood. All of us want to I matter.
Sex is one way adults reactivate, communicate and receive this basic need.
It’s a selfish need, but even that’s normal. Think about it. For the first few years of its life, a baby does not need to give anything to its mother. Its very existence activates responses in her that fulfil the I matter brief. The child does nothing but eat and poop.
Child rearing is different to adult relations and the sexual self.
Here’s where adulthood screws with our minds. In order to receive touch (as an adult), we should do three things:
- Communicate our need to receive/give touch.
- Include our touch-specific regions in the process.
- Enjoy the experience.
None of these things are taught to us at any time in our lives. Why? Well, that’s a question bound in too much prudish red tape to answer. All I know is we have a basic need to reach out and touch someone and be reached out by someone to be touched.
It goes to I exist and I matter.
This explains why wires frequently get crossed in the bedroom.
If we are told nothing about sex, shown nothing, or taught body negativity through osmosis, then the programming we receive from that will lead to the same things. Our adult lives get screwed over because we just don’t know anything. We are unfair to ourselves (and our partners) over ignorance.
It’s time to simplify this.
Most of us like a great big hug. A hug acknowledges our existence and says to us that we matter and someone cares. It allows us to show someone else that they matter and we care.
Sex is just an adult-sized (and approved) hug.
That’s all.
Discover more from Michael Forman – Author of Dark Fiction & Drama
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I often think sex is Evolution’s way of propagation.
🙂 Good read!