screaming person

Making The Most Of Scream Time

Vent anxieties by pairing screams to the right screaming place. Find a perfect victim and then find a perfect location. That’s when the real magic happens!

There’s a difference in screams. Trust me. When you’ve got the right victim in the right place, the scream they make will reward you in ways you’ve yet to find! I know great screams when I hear them — and I’ve tried many ways to get them. It’s about creative pairing.

Oh, did you come here thinking this was a story about releasing your own frustrations in a safe, therapeutic way? (How selfish of you!) You’re half right. Some of us use other people to make the sound while we provide them with the anxiety to make it.

The trunk of my car used to be my favourite spot to hear a scream — but I was young and dumb — frankly, I’d never tried anywhere else to know the difference. I wasn’t such an aural connoisseur back then and childish arrogance kept my mind closed. The business of concealing the attack was way more important. I’d stuff a thick sock in their mouths while looking over my shoulder. I never knew what I was missing.

One day, I took someone under a bridge. I hadn’t planned the encounter — and it was a struggle getting the victim back to the car. My sock, gaffa tape and trunk felt like they were a million miles away. The bitch screamed many times and then I was surprised by what I heard while dragging her back to my car. There were strange echoes all around me. That sound aroused me — totally surprising. Of course, it had a lot to do with the bridge. Those large concrete surfaces produced a sound bounce that elongated the scream and multiplied it. It was absolutely beautiful. I couldn’t get the sensation out of my mind. It got me thinking: Are there better places to hear a blood-curdling scream than the trunk of my car or under a random bridge?

After thirty years of experience, I feel it’s the right time to share with you my top five favourite screamy places of all.

  1. The desert. Obvious right? Its isolation saves us all. That aside, the open atmosphere leaves the sound dry. There are no echoes. It’s raw and pure, just as God intended. Done!
  2. Two inches underwater. It’s a bubbly kind of scream, not as loud but the effect is interesting. It’s for those water bunnies who’d like to be more creative with their kills.
  3. Inverted victim. The pitch changes. Yes, it does! Go figure! Who would think of doing that? And you’re welcome.
  4. An empty bucket. Pop a large bucket over the victim’s head and then listen to how the scream level drops. That’s because the victim’s ears are the first ones to get the sound. It’s bloody painful. Watch their body flinch at the pain they cause themselves. It’s a wonderfully masochistic type of scream.
  5. A Cathedral. Oh my God, this is it. This is where it all happens — so stirring. It’s the most heavenly way to experience screams. It just rings on forever. Imagine a demon twisting the arm of an angel and then shoving it up their butt — that’s the sound you’d get. Forget about the bridge scenario. Go straight to Church and wallow in the surround sound of a scream delivered in a Holy Cathedral.

Now, I can’t guarantee you’ll get the same results as I do, but what I offer here are foundation stones on which to build your own ideas. You can mix it up by using two or more of my suggestions in one scenario. For instance: Take a victim to a Cathedral-sized cave and hold their head under two inches of water. Bubbly screams with some echo overlays is what I predict. (I haven’t done it myself (yet) but I can imagine the rewards would be worthy of testing.)

What about inverting the victim on a vertical turntable in the middle of Nowhere Desert and then fixing a bucket to its head? If the turntable rotates automatically by way of a small motor, you can sit back and listen to the ever-changing pitch as they go from right side up to upside down and back again. You can have fun finding ways to keep them screaming while figuring out what causes the pitch to change.

What keeps them screaming, you ask?

Anything you like.

Happy hunting.

-M

Five women’s bodies are discovered after the nights of thunderstorms. Their spouses are suspected of the crimes, but it becomes clear that someone else is responsible. There’s no blood and few clues. A storm photographer specialising in taking lightning pictures may be the only witness.

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