Brisbane: Professional Photographer Hanged By Camera Strap

Maxine has died. I can’t believe it. This photo was taken just yesterday. She never told me she wanted to photograph a bridge. She’s a wedding photographer. Bridges aren’t her thing.

I just got off the phone with Sarah. She says that our larger-than-life friend died sometime last night. Her camera killed her.

I saw Maxine at our cafe at lunchtime just a day ago. She never said she was going out with her camera. She was supposed to stay inside and watch TV during the forecast storm.

It’s bloody typical, though — and explains why she was so sickly sweet to me. She pumped me for information and listened — so uncharacteristic.

That bloated, ungrateful and often belligerent… took notice. But then she did something foolish with the information. She went into the storm without thinking of the consequences. I told her it was a dangerous game.

She does unexpected things like this. I don’t know why. Attention seeking, maybe. This time, it’s cost her her life.

She’s had some kind of weird accident on the cliff facing the bridge.

What a dumb thing to do! Oh, Maxine! You stupid moron! Why?

I shouldn’t speak about her like that, after all, Maxine died in tragic circumstances. Even enemies deserve respect.

Okay, she wasn’t actually an enemy, just an acquaintance — more like a pain in-my-ass who turned up at social events to get drunk and harass people — mainly me. I got sick of her behaviour a long time ago. She kept asking if I was happily married.

I told her, despite what she thinks she knows, I wasn’t interested.

She heard that my spare time was spent trying to get the best photo of lightning. She wanted to know more about the process. I thought she was just making conversation. She wasn’t. That figures.

Why? Weddings are her speciality, not storms. Her boneheaded stupidity got her killed!

Sure, like a few of my colleagues, I felt she was due some karma. But I didn’t think it to be something so dire! Death wasn’t part of the plan. No one should go that way — and to do it so publicly, too.

Yes, Maxine, at times you’re a classless human being, but you’re not a total imbecile. Why would you believe in scrambling across the top of a cliff in the pouring rain, for God’s sake? What did you hope to achieve? You can photograph from the park. A clean shot could have been obtained there.

But there’s no telling Maxine what to do. When she gets a crazy idea in her head, she won’t let it go. If wine’s involved, it’ll only encourage her. She’ll defy everyone just to make a point.

But how did she get past that pointy-top fence? She’s too large to climb it. Top-class athletes would find it difficult to climb on a dry day. I don’t get it. It’s a barrier for a reason!

Police said she crossed over and then slipped in the mud. She fell a little way down the cliff face when an exposed tree root snagged her camera strap. She was barely a few feet down when she suddenly stopped. She dangled there all night. Some guy on the bridge saw her body when he was out for his morning jog.

It wouldn’t have been a shocking discovery.

What I don’t get is how the camera strap ended up around her neck in the first place. If she were using her tripod, she wouldn’t have had it around her neck anyway. It’d be screwed to the top of her tripod.

Farewell Maxine. It’ll be a much quieter world without you and your drunken rants.

-Mitchell