In reality, surviving a sexless marriage is near impossible. The best thing you can do is try to fix it. Do not suffer through it. Make plans to repair the damage.
Instead of merely surviving a sexless marriage, I want to encourage you to do more. You can’t survive a relationship that exists with no intimacy. You must either move on or repair your relationship so that you can bring the fire back into your life.
Surviving a sexless marriage is not enough.
I want you to fix it because miracles do occur, and you never know. it could be your relationship that gets the miracle. Surviving a sexless marriage is not only possible, it’s expected if you follow all of the available advice.
The problem CAN be fixed.
It’s not enough to try and just survive in a sexless marriage. Surviving a sexless marriage is the minimum goal. Let’s go beyond that and find a happy, balanced marriage.
Don’t allow your sexual frustrations to bubble over; don’t wait to get angry, feel rejected and not feel good about yourself. Part of surviving a sexless marriage is realizing how bad you are feeling while in it. If you start blaming your partner for the situation you could only worsen things.
There could be a very simple and easily understandable reason for your sexless marriage. To move forward, you need to find out what the cause of your sexless relationship is.
First, I want you to work on your attitude. Surviving a sexless marriage really does come down to your mental approach. In fact, you’ve got to be mentally tough. I want to encourage you not to put up with a substandard relationship. A key to surviving a sexless marriage is not tolerating things that you don’t like. This is about self-respect.
Have higher standards for your marriage!
There isn’t a benefit to putting up with a low-quality marriage. This WILL affect your happiness and other areas of your life. It’s mentally draining and hard to live with, as I’m sure you’ve already found out. This kind of marriage limits what you do with your life.
The attitude that you will simply “survive” a sexless marriage is the kind of attitude that will not only prolong it but will lead to your unhappiness in life. For example, take two couples. In the first relationship, the husband is a heavy smoker, and the wife hates it. She complains about it but doesn’t do anything about it.
In the other relationship, the man is a heavy smoker, and the wife hates it. Instead of complaining about it, she does something about it. Every time she catches her husband smoking, she leaves for some time or kicks him out.
The first wife wants to change but isn’t going after it. The second wife wants to change and decides to create change. See the big difference?
Guess which wife is going to get her husband to stop smoking? It’s the same with your sexless marriage. It’s time for you to play hardball.
You’ve got to take it more seriously and make more of a point that you won’t tolerate it. You will need to be able to provide other options for your partner, which may involve finding a good relationship therapist.
Even if sex isn’t the most essential thing in your partner’s life, it will still be vital to them if they know it is essential to you.
If you know the four stages of a relationship and which ones are best to be in…your sex life and marriage will never be boring ever again.
–Michael (Dark fiction. Author of SEETHINGS (the first book), free for a limited time)
SEETHINGS promises a gripping psychological thriller that blends murder, passion, and secrets of a sexless marriage. Forman’s vivid prose draws readers into a world where lightning illuminates the skies and hidden truths. As the storm clouds gather, Mitchell’s journey promises to unravel more than just the mystery of the murders.
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I really appreciated the advice you gave and the extra links for more information.
Great post but links didn’t work. Says server is forbidden.
I invite you to my blog
https://loftforum.wordpress.com
Great perspective, I wrote a piece on this as well. Loved reading someone else’s article on this topic! 😉
Thankyou. -M
I would love for you to read my article on signs a marriage cannot be saved, I think it would be interesting to you! Looking forward to hearing what you think.
I’ll have a look at it shortly and get back to you. -M
Curious to hear if you found the content helpful! 👍🏼
Is this the link? http://bit.ly/3Xjz9Q9
Yes, I found it helpful. I think five of those points are absolutely 100% valid. The sixth sits in a grey area for me. I believe the core values of individuals remain the same no matter what happens in their marriages. To want to love and be loved, to want to give and receive respect, etc, rarely changes. It is their relationship’s direction that alters as their relationship falters. Joint goals are lost. Promises are broken. Disrespect creeps in.
Understanding the differences between what ‘independent core values’ and ‘couple-‘goals’ are, is important. They often get lumped together as one. Independently, they both want love, respect, safety and financial security to find their happiness. Together, they can’t get happy and so lose their way by breaking mutually agreed rules.
In any case, I think you’re also right when you recommend therapy. If a couple want to turn their marriage around, they should get help to do it. A third party can help sort out the mess by providing a perspective that that doesn’t exist between independent core values and relationship goals. -M
Super interesting to see your opinion. I might rephrase some things, since I am aiming for compatibility issues like having a kids wish and wanting to travel. Thanks for sharing your opinion!
I liked it. Right on the money. –