Songs For A Sexless Marriage

Music offers an escape from many things — including a marriage that lacks romance and physical intimacy. When there’s little to do, and the bedroom is a no-go zone, listen to this playlist below and feel better knowing someone else knows exactly how you feel.

Music helps us smile, dance, laugh and cry. Happy music is a nice distraction from a sexless marriage, but the joy it gives is short-lived. Romantic ones only remind us of what we’re missing most. Sad songs are okay, but so few of them speak through the layers of complexity that encircle a sexless marriage. Most talk about break-ups or longing for that one magical romance. I wanted songs that cut through the bones of sexless-ness. The playlist above is what I came up with.

My personal preference goes straight to Foreigner’s Cold As Ice. It was a simple choice as my spouse is totally untouchable. There’s no health issue stopping sex — just a general disinterest in it. That’s all. Asexual would be the appropriate word to use here. I got caught in someone else’s weird projection of what a relationship ought to be, and that didn’t include sex. And that’s the way it will be ’til to death do us part because that’s what we promised each other. (Sad, right?)

Your situation could be similar to mine (I’m guessing it’s not), but many people I talk to say their spouse has become unhappy and, over time, it’s hurt both of their sex lives. Sometimes, it’s about a busy work life that inhibits the road to the bedroom. Children are a typical sex block, too. It doesn’t matter what the reasons are behind your own cold, sexless lifestyle. You still crave something from someone who isn’t there for you. You’re married to them, but still so very much alone.

That emotion is real. It’s isolating.

Expect to feel lonely, abandoned, disappointed, frustrated, and angry. You’re caught up in something you can’t control, and that’s bound to influence your emotions. That’s not all. There’s an awful endless loop somewhere in there. If you both believe in monogamy, then to support your partner’s wish not to have sex, you must also not have sex either. You’ve agreed to go without, without actually saying it in words. Yes, you’ve also enabled a sexless marriage to grow by practising it over and over again. Eventually, you’ll get very good at it, and you’ll become perfect experts. That’s a monster you don’t want in your marriage.

“Monogamous sexless marriage? No such thing! It’s called a celibate marriage because sexless-ness now makes monogamy redundant. Ironic much?”

Listen to the music and add Songs For A Sexless Marriage to your Spotify playlists. Even if you don’t relate to all the tunes in the lineup, keep it displayed on your device’s screen whenever you’re not using it, just in case your spouse catches a glimpse of what you’re listening to. There’s a chance they’ll ask about your playlist, and you’ll start a conversation about it.

I wrote a book about my sexless marriage and buried the truth in fiction to protect the guilty. It’s downloadable and free for a limited time. Click here for SEETHINGS.

Good luck with your situation. (If you have a song suggestion you’d think should be included, drop me a line)

-Michael Forman

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