Margo and I have temporary custody of our neighbour’s blue budgie, Bluey. He’s less than a year old and curious, listening intently to every sound, head tilted just so. You can almost see the gears whirring inside that little head as he decides which sound deserves his mimicry.
Margo, of course, is being sensible. She’s trying to instil some cute, owner-friendly words into his vocabulary. Things like “Hi Debbie!” or a sweet “Kiss kiss!”—little gems that will make Deb’s heart melt when she gets back. It’s wholesome, thoughtful, and, honestly, exactly what a good bird-sitter should do.
Not me.
I’ve chosen a different path. Instead of helpful phrases, I’ve been leaning toward the absurd. Useless. Every chance I get: “I want a rhinoceros.” Over and over.
Why? Well, no one ever says that. Ever. Certainly not a bird. Which is precisely what makes it funny.
Imagine Debbie coming home from her trip, Bluey hopping happily on his perch, and instead of “Hello,” she’s greeted with a passionate demand for a big fat African animal.
I can’t wait to hear from her after it happens!
–Michael (Dark fiction. Author of SEETHINGS (the first book), free for a limited time)
SEETHINGS II follows the return of the Storm Killer as a body on a secluded beach in Moreton Bay ignites fear and denial. While police dismiss the link, the media doesn’t. Mitchell Felding forms a dangerous bond with a man who understands his darkest impulses. When Natasha enters his life, carrying love letters from her murdered mother, intimacy deepens, and truth closes in. Some futures are inherited. Some are escaped.
Discover more from Michael Forman – Author of Dark Fiction & Drama
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also makes it easy to identify the bird if it’s ever lost/found/stolen.
I never thought of that angle, but I’ve noticed how quickly he learns new stuff and drops some of the old. The little chatterbox goes all day and incorporates indigenous bird calls between words. -M