I like to have fun with history. The mental health field seems like a good target for my darker obsessions. I know, why not take a seriously serious subject and turn it around?
The Chic Chic Institute has taken out this prestigious award for a record fifth time in a row!
Congratulations to our clinicians and staff for their efforts. To celebrate, we’re offering great deals and rewards for new customers. Go directly to your nearest award-winning Chic Chic Mental Asylum for first-class treatment and check yourself out of reality today!
- Head injury getting you down?
- Mind worms gnawing your brain?
- Are voices turning you suicidal?
Visit Chic Chic Mental Asylum today for a free assessment. Let our doctors examine you with no obligation. Ask to try out our new range of straight jackets and get a Committed For Life tee shirt and cap. Enjoy some caring electrotherapy while watching the stars above.
Phone Now! The first 100 callers will get a free monogrammed straight jacket and your choice of room with corrosion-free custom hand and feet cuffs!
That’s right, monogramming on your own room and stainless cuffs!
Unable to check yourself in? Don’t worry, parents and spouses can do it for you, no doctor’s recommendation is necessary!
This month we have a special on wives and girlfriends. We call it the Husband Holiday Offer! Got a superstitious wife or one with an inexplicable disease of the mind? Maybe she’s just a nuisance and won’t shut the hell up. Send her our way and you can get the break you deserve.
Long stays are welcome! Bite sticks are provided!
Other legitimate reasons to commit your favourite chick to a Chic Chic break:
- Jealousy
- Feebleness of Intellect
- Dropsy
- Self Abuse
- Dissipation of Nerves
- Seduction and Disappointment.
- Novel Reading
Novel reading? You heard right. Nose-in-book-Syndrome is a real problem. It just so happens that this syndrome is this month’s Syndrome of The Month!
It qualifies her to get the first night free and an upgrade* to visit our Zap & Sizzle Spa. Plug her in and watch her frown turn upside down. Now that’s what we call a novel offer.
(*Electricity supplied by renewable and sustainable sources.)
We haven’t forgotten the ladies either. At Chic Chic you can commit your husband for:
- Greediness
- Deranged Masturbation
- Egotism
- Tobacco and Masturbation
- … and much much more masturbation-associated things!
Can’t find any reason to commit? No problems! Send us some symptoms and we’ll find a diagnosis. Everyone is welcome at Chic Chic!
‘Sterilised Surgical Instruments Used Most of The Time.’
Needs a holiday? Tell us your dream holiday and you will go in for the draw to win a lifetime supply of Valium. At Chic Chic Mental Asylum, we leave the rubber gloves off because we care.
What about the kids? Book in the next five minutes and we’ll take in your Godless children for free. We have got a Priest waiting to turn your child around right now!!!
Member of UMAIN (United Mental Asylums Institute National)
Download eBook Now or Get Paperback Here
SEETHINGS II follows the return of the Storm Killer as a body on a secluded beach in Moreton Bay, igniting fear and denial. While police dismiss the link, the media doesn’t. Mitchell Felding forms a dangerous bond with a man who understands his darkest impulses. When Natasha enters his life, carrying love letters from her murdered mother, intimacy deepens, and truth closes in. Some futures are inherited. Some have escaped.
SEETHINGS (first in the series) is downloadable and free for a limited time here.
‘Forman’s writing style is artful, with the protagonist Mitchell’s warped thought processes masterfully exposed. The author has a powerful and vivid command of language and his word pictures are stark and disturbingly real.’
Linda J Bettenay, author of ‘Secrets Mothers Keep’ and ‘Wishes For Starlight’
Discover more from Michael Forman – Author of Dark Fiction & Drama
Subscribe to get the latest posts sent to your email.