Doing the Time Warp Again (Make It So!)

I’ve always loved The Rocky Horror Picture Show. It’s campy, chaotic, and completely unapologetic—just the way a midnight musical should be. But here’s my little secret: I’m also a bit of a Trekkie. Which means, deep down, I can’t help thinking The Time Warp is a terrible idea.

“Just a jump to the left”? Sure, but have you considered what that does to the space-time continuum? On Star Trek: The Next Generation, you can’t even sneeze near a warp core without Geordi La Forge running diagnostics. And you just know Commander Data would pause mid-pelvic thrust to calculate the gravitational distortions caused by all those synchronised jumps.

If Dr. Crusher ever had to explain to Captain Picard why the crew’s suddenly wearing corsets and singing “Sweet Transvestite,” I’m pretty sure we’d see the captain’s eyebrow twitch. Then again, maybe Riker would join in—he does have the beard for it.

That’s the beauty of both worlds. Rocky Horror says, “Let’s get weird,” while Star Trek says, “Let’s get cosmic.” One warps minds, the other warps space. And somehow, they both make perfect sense together after midnight.

So I’ll grab my imaginary tricorder, dim the lights, and press play. The universe is safe from my dancing—probably.

Let’s do the Time Warp again. Engage!

–Michael