Remember that wonderful feeling when fury and thick plastic came together? It was noisy, aggressive and wonderfully final when a receiver and handpiece met. (Young folks won’t know what I’m talking about.)
Where’s the fun in poking and swiping glass to hang up on someone? (Poor, deprived souls)
Modern phones aren’t built for slamming. They break. Break one, and it’s off the air, followed by an expensive fix to get it back on. Maybe that’s why everyone is so uptight. They can’t slam anything anymore. Swiping doesn’t let off steam. The pressure keeps building and building.
Good phone slams came from an aggravated phone owner. Here are some familiar aggravations that started the slamming process:
A debt collector calls and threatens to turn off the electricity if the bill isn’t paid by tomorrow at five p.m. You tell them threats won’t work, and then slam the phone down to make your point!
A mother-in-law says she’s dropping by in an hour, but the house isn’t clean enough for visitors. Slam again!
Your husband says he’s working late tonight, and you sense his sexy secretary is working late, too! Double slam!
Many times, a good slam punctuated the end of a discussion!
Let me tell you, I’ve slammed many of these kinds of phones in my time. They didn’t break. Sometimes the phone would fall to the floor, the handpiece and curly cord landing in a heap beside it. I’d pick up the phone and slam it a second time (to ensure it was done right). I NEVER had to replace a phone due to some old-fashioned slamming.
Linda got frustrated with poking the glass face of her Android phone. Poking it wasn’t enough. She found a unique way to express and extend her anger.
When her new man refused to meet with her because he claimed he was too busy, she cursed at him while she drove along the M1. She abruptly hung up her phone and promptly removed the SIM card. She lowered the glass window and flung it into the open space on the highway. It disappeared somewhere under the wheels of the traffic that followed. “There!” she yelled, frowning. “Too busy? For me? That’ll show you! Bastard!”
I agree. It’s not a perfect process; Anthony wouldn’t know what she did with that SIM. The SIM toss made Linda feel better, but I don’t get the anger behind the action. She’s stepping out on her husband, and Anthony’s doing the same to his wife. Neither is faithful. Neither are they giving up their respective families to start a new life together. Anthony won’t know her fury unless she calls and tells him about it. But she needs a replacement SIM card to do that! And she will get one quickly because she has many things to say and wants to tell them sooner rather than later!
These part-time lovers are in a delightfully messy circle of passionate emotions. A good old phone slam now and then would suit them to a tee (and save Linda SIMs). (This story goes into SEETHINGS)
What about you? Do you miss those old slam days? Have we gone backward in our quest to move forward?
-Michael (Author of SEETHINGS – Downloadable and free for a limited time.)
Discover more from Michael Forman – Author of Dark Fiction & Drama
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