You’ve become a big fat slob. When we first met, you were charming. You looked after yourself. You we’re slim, non-demanding, and found nice things to say to me. We made a great team. Now you just take advantage of us.
You suck at everything. I mean, you literally consume my device’s resources. You’re slowing me down.
Your application has become obese and wasteful. You’re unhealthy to have in my life. You give me no thanks for putting up with your obesity. I thought I needed you, but I don’t. Not any more. I want to get out of this one-sided relationship.
Oh, I have a few other things to say before I’m done…
You stalk me all day. You didn’t think I noticed but I did. You were watching everything I did, telling me what I should be wearing, eating, drinking and thinking. You’ve known where I’ve been and where I’m going. You’ve told lies and made it sound like truth. Well, I’m not taking it anymore. I’m so sick of you and your manipulating ways.
Goodbye Facebook. Please don’t call anymore. Don’t go looking for me either. Just let me go. Oh yeah, go tell your buddy Google I’m not available or single. I don’t want that tool following me around either.
Tell him I’m turning asexual. I don’t need or want anyone.
-M Forman (Author of Dark Fiction)
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