I committed a vile, hideous, unspeakable act of indecency. Someone saw me do it, then subjected me to the worst kind of scrutiny. I wish I hadn’t done what I did. If I could undo it, I would right the wrong and fix the mistake.
I’m not talking about interrupting a religious ceremony or funeral. I’m not talking about being caught naked in public, either. Those would have been far less embarrassing.
I faced the wrong way at the wrong time and place.
That was my crime.
I left the water’s edge at the beach, picked up my laptop, walked to a grassy hill above the beach and sat at a park table. I began writing, looking at the green hills instead of the blue water.
A horrific choice.
“That bastard had his back to the ocean. Who does that?”
My daughter-in-law said those words. Apparently, I’d broken some kind of beach law. She was judge and jury, ready to pass sentence and find me guilty.
I did have my back to the ocean. I did that. I remember doing it.
In my defence, I didn’t know such a law existed. I pleaded ignorance. I apologised. Honestly, I even apologised to the ocean, hoping we could be friends again and my charges could be dropped.
Looking back, I was far too cavalier. I took my relationship with the ocean for granted. I’m sorry, old friend.
Did you know I once lived on the ocean? I mean on it, not beside it. That’s no excuse, but it explains my actions. I know the ocean well. I lived on Last Laugh and enjoyed the wind and waves every day. I’m used to having the ocean around me. It’s like an old friend. I don’t feel I need to face my friend every minute. The green hills looked interesting, too.
Good grief.
Who was this vicious super-beast, conjuring up frivolous sea laws? Had I really hurt the ocean’s feelings by sitting in the wrong direction?
No. I wasn’t going to play that stupid game.
It’d make a wonderful children’s story if the ocean cared what I did. What a tale that would be.
The ocean wasn’t the issue.
It was about her.
I didn’t validate her. I didn’t face her. I didn’t bow to the Queen.
My walk up the hill became an evil act. Facing the wrong way was blasphemous. She seethed for months until one bizarre outburst revealed what she’d been carrying around. She must have massaged that fury, rehearsing the perfect words for the moment she could finally say them.
Family rifts between parents and their children’s partners can deepen over time. I’ve written about research on in-law estrangement.
Other things came out too. Something about Margo and me driving to an unapproved beach—her unapproved beach—and other ramblings. It all pointed to insecurity. When the Queen loses control of her subjects, Her Majesty loses her fricken mind.
The weather was perfect. The kids laughed and had fun. Everyone was having a great time.
Except her.
She saw me turn away, and her day was ruined. I can’t know what was happening in her mind, or what made that moment explode. I can only describe what I saw. I’ve written about the pressures that can make people snap.
Frankly, I’m too old to worry about the fragile egos of insecure people, daughters-in-law included. I stopped dancing for neurotics long ago. Pandering gains nothing. Good energy gets wasted on those people, and they don’t give any back.
I am curious why she spent so much time and energy on little ol’ me.
I feel for her husband, my partner’s boy. He has to live with her every day. But that’s his problem to endure. She was his choice.
My choice is not to live with his problems. I don’t have the time for it. Neither does his mother. Sometimes the best we can do is step away from unhealthy relationship patterns. I can’t control what other people decide to be angry about; I can choose how I respond to what I can’t control.
Other parents must go through this type of crap, too, right? Who else has watched their kid marry a control freak and seen them set themselves up for a life of verbal and psychological abuse?
–Michael Forman (Author of Dark Fiction)
Download eBook Now or Get Paperback Here
SEETHINGS II follows the return of the Storm Killer as a body on a secluded beach in Moreton Bay, igniting fear and denial. While police dismiss the link, the media doesn’t. Mitchell Felding forms a dangerous bond with a man who understands his darkest impulses. When Natasha enters his life, carrying love letters from her murdered mother, intimacy deepens, and truth closes in. Some futures are inherited. Some have escaped.
SEETHINGS (first in the series) is downloadable and free for a limited time here.
psychology, human behaviour, relationships, manipulation
Discover more from Michael Forman – Author of Dark Fiction & Drama
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