I love cling wrap. I really do. It’s brilliant in theory—transparent, stretchy, sealing freshness into leftovers like some kind of modern magic. But in practice? It’s the devil in plastic form.
As a guy, I assumed the struggle was gender-based. I could never find the end, and when I did, it tore unevenly or worse—stuck to itself in a crumpled mess. By the time I got a clean sheet, I’d used half the roll, muttering words unfit for public airing.
Cutting it straight? Forget it. Using the cutter on the box? A gamble. And don’t get me started on it sticking to me. Or the bench. Or the cat. It’s like static-charged regret.
Then one day, I ranted about it in the staff room. I expected chuckles or shrugs, but instead, it was like I’d triggered a support group. Men, women—everyone—had the same gripes. Turns out cling wrap is a universal enemy.
We all agreed: it clings to everything except what we want it to.
So I ask you—do you have the same issue? Or have you secretly mastered this rebellious roll of plastic and just haven’t shared the secret with the rest of us?
-M (Author of SEETHINGS, downloadable and free for a limited time)
P.S A big thanks goes to AI for coming up with the lead photo. It’s accurate to a tee!
Discover more from Michael Forman – Author of Dark Fiction & Drama
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Stretch it out on the bench, lay your forearm across the bit next to where you want to cut, and use a sharp knife. The bit on the bench doesn’t move as long as you keep the forearm over the bit near the box.
Chef’s trick, learned as a kitchen hand.
Another trick – get as much air out of the container as possible, even to pushing the wrap onto the surface of the food (if it’s wet) before sealing with the wrap. It’s oxygen that makes the food go bad, so the less air, the better and longer the food lasts.
Hi,
Tried it that way many a-time. Cleared a nice space, away from any puff of wind, but nup, still mess it up. It takes two goes to get a loose-fitting orbit of film (most of the time) to cover what I’m trying to wrap. It’s pathetic, 8 times out of 10. Forget squeezing air! (LOL)
-M