The Dangers of Noise-Canceling Headphones for Joggers

Run as though you haven’t a care in the world. That’s the best way. Suck in some fresh oxygen. Listen to beats and forget I’m right behind you.

Let me help you understand how I access people like you when you use your noise-cancelling headphones.

Pop them on, turn them up, shut out the world, and run carefree.

I run, too. I’m pretty quick — and I care very much — about your noise-cancelling headphones.

First, I must thank you for wearing them and choosing the best brand. I hope they work well. I’ll need them to do their job right if I’m to do mine right.

Y’know, before noise cancelling, things used to be much harder.

People like you used to be more aware. And the quality of the headphones was lower. You could hear me coming a mile away. That’s why things are so much better now. Your headphones help me hide behind your music.

What was it you said on social media last night?

“What girl gets into an Uber alone and then sits in the front seat with the driver? It’s no wonder he touched you.”

Profound words, yet profoundly ironic.

Well, who runs without paying attention to the sounds around them?

You do.

You are responsible for your safety when you place a foot onto the path to start your morning jog. Music in your head doesn’t mean you have a band of musicians running alongside you to protect you. Blocking out the outside world doesn’t mean it’s not there anymore.

It’s still there. It’s watching. I see you.

Do you know why I know that?

It’s because I’m part of it.

In twenty or so seconds, you and your highly effective noise-cancelling headphones will make a left turn on that path, a right, and then another right. Soon, you’ll enter this stretch of woodland, and you’ll be all alone.

Noise-cancelling headphones will stop the sound of me from reaching your ears.

Ah, there you are.

I’ll let you pass this tree and then follow you.

See, now I’m right behind you, keeping pace. It’s as easy as that. You don’t have a clue. This only goes to prove my point. Noise-cancelling headphones are downright dangerous.

Think about it.

A cyclist could come from behind and knock you down by accident. A car could inadvertently leave the road and get you from the side. At least you’d hear something of the trouble beforehand and have a chance of getting out of the way to avoid injury or, perhaps, death.

With noise-cancelling headphones, you have no way of hearing anything. None at all. If there were a chance to save your life, you’d miss it.

And then there is you, jogging along like that, oblivious, with me jogging just a few feet behind. You’ve been at it for half an hour. I’ve been jogging for less than a minute.

You have no idea of what I’m about to do.

Here I come.

Ready?

Got it!

Now I’ve got those expensive new noise-cancelling headphones for me! They’re all mine now!

Catch me if you can.

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-M

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