Midwife: Utilising The Middle Wife’s Skills

What if a “midwife” wasn’t about birthing babies but a handy middle-ground wife in an unconventional marital arrangement?

Have you thought of that, too? (You and I should be friends)

Picture this: You’ve got Wife #1. She’s fantastic but eight months pregnant and too busy creating life to deal with daily drama. Enter Wife #2—the Midwife (or, as we’ll call her, the “Middle Wife”). She’s not there to deliver babies but to help deliver the calm, keeping everything running smoothly during the prenatal chaos. Need someone to remember the grocery list or deal with the clogged sink? Middle Wife’s got it. She’s there to keep things together while First Wife focuses on baking that bun.

Middle Wife could take on all those little tasks that pregnant First Wife is simply too tired or nauseous to deal with. Grocery shopping? Middle Wife. Handling those weird cravings for pickles and peanut butter at 3 a.m.? Middle Wife again. First Wife needs foot rubs but also wants someone to fight with the insurance company over birthing plans? Boom, Middle Wife. She’s the glue holding it all together without stepping on anyone’s toes… hopefully.

But what happens after the baby arrives? Middle Wife is still hanging around. She’s like the understudy who never got the main role but still gets all the credit for keeping the production from falling apart. But beware—Middle Wife might just get ideas and start vying for First Wife status.

Let’s not forget the single people who have no Wife #1 to speak of therefore, aren’t entitled to have a Middle Wife. To make things fair, they should have access to a “Middle Girlfriend”. Wouldn’t it make sense to have a Midgirl handle all those relationship hiccups when things get bumpy with Girlfriend #1?

Now we’re on the same page.

But tread carefully—if anyone finds out about this wonderful new idea, everyone will want to get a Midgirl of their own. There won’t be any girlfriends to go around for everyone. (Ha ha!)

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