Infection Stops Sex: Help!

Last year, when married for only a year, I developed a chronic bladder infection. I’m seeing a specialist and taking antibiotics.

I’m getting better, but I have frequent flare-ups. Our physical relationship has taken a huge toll.

The pain and discomfort make sex infrequent or restrained since we’re both wary of my pain.

My husband’s been loving, attentive and very concerned for my health.

However, he’s increasingly frustrated with the lack of sex.

We’ve tried many “alternatives” but nothing works the same way.

Sex was a huge part of us and our love.

My doctor’s asked me to be patient. We’ve set a deadline for reconsidering our options, including separation if I’m not getting better.

My husband says he doesn’t want to leave me, but I feel it’s unfair for him to live in a sexless marriage for the rest of his life.

Should we seek some professional guidance?

Painful Decision

You must seek professional information and guidance right away, and on several levels.

Your specialist will have previously dealt with chronic bladder pain affecting sexual activity.

Don’t be embarrassed, you both need to ask him/her how you each can best handle this.

A marital therapist will also benefit you both. In a still-young marriage, you haven’t faced many intense issues like this.

But many couples experience periods of abstinence — e.g. for months during difficult pregnancies. The therapist will have ideas and encouragement for you both.

Setting a deadline for options and thinking about separation is premature.

Maintain intimacy through touch, stroking, cuddling, kissing, while helping your husband have orgasms manually or orally, without you experiencing pain.

It’s “not the same” but it’s deeply loving, compassionate, and bonding.

It’ll help you stay optimistic and less stressed about your condition as the antibiotics and time heal you.

-Michael Forman (Author of a sexless story SEETHINGS)