I must confess, the touches are tinglier too. I wish I’d done this sooner. The amount of nights I spent awake, thinking about cheating, was endless. Last night, l finally crossed over and did it. And I’m not sorry, either. It’s naughty, and I don’t mind sharing my secret with you here. To hell with you if you’re a hater! Haters don’t know what I’ve been through. I had no choice but to go outside my marriage. I needed this so much!
Cheating keeps me sane. Without it, I’d be climbing walls. My spouse has no time for intimacy. It’s always work, work, work. I’m done with being second best and low-priority. Being taken for granted isn’t what I signed up for. The second chances I kept giving my partner ran out, so I made a choice. I’ve done more with my secret FWB in three months than I did in the last decade. We do everything we don’t experience at home. That’s why our meetings are so precious. There’s so much more freedom. The bizarre marital restrictions at home don’t matter.
Yes, we did marriage counselling. Better communication techniques were applied through couple’s therapy. We tried date nights too, romantic weekends away, but nothing worked. Married life became awkward. It wasn’t the way I expected to live. Monogamy was the dream. It’s just it didn’t work out like I planned.
If it weren’t for this new arrangement, Nina’s life would be as sexless as mine. We crave touch, but our spouses are absent. They live with us, but they’re not with us. It’s complicated to an outsider, but it’s not to us.
Before this affair, I had to embrace defeat or make some radical changes to my way of thinking. Something had to break, so I broke. Now I’m happy. So is my wife. I don’t look to Samantha for sex anymore, and she likes that. She stays busy, doing the things that make her happy. Sex isn’t one of them.
Nina’s marriage is almost the same as mine. If her husband isn’t too busy for sex, he’s too tired to play.
She and I love our spouses, we just didn’t like the icy lifestyles. We wanted fire! It’s delicious to burn. We know how to cook. Eating leaves smiles on our faces.
Are we too demanding for our spouses? Perhaps. If quick vanilla twice a year is demanding, then yes, we’re guilty. There are no strange kinks with us. Most of what we want is to feel human again. We like to kiss. Hugging is high on our list too. Sex completes us. Our problems are solved with this arrangement, and two marriages are improved for it.
Would I tolerate this behaviour if it were my wife doing it and not me?
Ten years ago, I’d have said no in an instant. Now, if taking a lover made her happy, then I’d have to think a second time before saying anything. Happiness for me required a behavioural change to take place deep inside me. I needed to accept a new kind of normal. Sure, if Sam wanted it, I’d consider accepting a new kind of normal. Change is good. Why can’t we embrace change? Change can help us all if we expanded our minds and put our trust in love, not sex.
Who am I kidding? She wouldn’t think like that. She doesn’t need sex. Books do it for her. Reading is her pleasure. We’ve a growing library on her side of the bed, and I’m not worth placing a bookmark into any of their pages for a moment of romance.
She’s asexual. That’s all there’s to say. Don’t over-think it. No sex is best sex.
I know what you’re wondering. Kids? No. We have no children. That’s why we have three healthy teenage-sized piles of books along her side of the bed instead. I allow my wife to read without distraction, and I get laid.
And then six women died in mysterious circumstances. It was all over the news. Maybe you know one of the victims.
“Forman’s writing style is artful, with the protagonist Mitchell’s warped thought processes masterfully exposed. The author has a powerful and vivid command of language and his word pictures are stark and disturbingly real.”– Linda J Bettenay, author of ‘Secrets Mothers Keep’ and ‘Wishes For Starlight’.