How To Hide A Body

How to hide a body

It’s a question that needs to be asked. If I’ve wondered about asking it, then you’ve probably wondered about it too. I’m not afraid to ask this often socially awkward question. I’m also not afraid to answer it. When I was starting out, resources were few and far between. No one showed or explained anything to me. I had to teach myself and make it up as I went along. So, without prejudice, let me tell you of the things I learned on the way to becoming a successful serial killer.

Basically, I’m a lazy son-of-a-bitch. It’s a character flaw of mine. I’ve never wanted to dig holes for the dead. In the early days, I’d always take the easy way out and found a convenient place to dump a victim, like a ditch or a drain. I was so naive. Foolish really. I could’ve been caught. Fortunately, luck was on my side. Each night I committed a murder, good rain fell somewhere between the time I dumped a body and when it was found. I didn’t plan it that way, it just happened. Any evidence I left on a body was conveniently washed away. Like I said, luck was with me. I learned how to improve my ways by refining the process and studying the weather.

There are other ways to dispose of victims, but many of them require much more effort. Some are simply bad for the environment. Everyone wants a newer, better, more sustainable lifestyle in everything they do. Why should serial killers be any different?

I’m all for sustainability, but I can’t help feeling conflicted when giving advice to others. On one hand, you might want to save the world but, on the other, you need a simple kill. Sure, stuffing a body into your freezer certainly saves some labour, but freezing uses electricity and fossil fuels. That produces an unnecessary carbon footprint, and no one wants that. And who’s going to drag the victim out of the freezer when you need it for something else? You might as well dig that damn hole and be done with it!

I hear you. Hydrochloric acid. Let chemistry do the hard lifting by liquifying the body. Isn’t acid bad for the environment? Think of the plants, the animals, and the waterways. Shame on you for suggesting it!

There is another way. My way. It comes down to two primary things: 1) Location and 2) Timing. There is a third, but let me reveal that one shortly.

In the USA, there are 92 people per square mile. That’s 184 eyes looking around that space at any one time. Some are looking through camera lenses and watching screens. It’s almost impossible to perform any action without someone knowing about it or photographing it. Only luck and perfect timing will save us. Get it wrong and there’ll be a good chance one of those eyes or cameras will see something they shouldn’t have.

Australia has a much lower population density. There’s just 1 person in that same area. It’s a serial killer’s paradise! As a result of this wonderful statistic, I don’t do much with the bodies. I leave them where they fall and let nature return them to the soil. It works fine. In ten years, I’ve not been caught, and it’s an environmentally friendly practice… but I still choose my times and places for kills very carefully.

The summers are stiflingly hot and humid in my home town of Brisbane. A body that’s open to the climate decomposes at an accelerated rate. If I pick the right night to commit a murder, say, before a drenching thunderstorm, I find that it sorts out most of the evidence immediately. Once the washing is done, all that’s left to finish off the job is some time under a scorching sun. Assuming the body isn’t found at all, it then dissolves into the landscape quick.

And then there are the victims I choose. I go for strangers. They’re nothing to me. They have no historical associations with anything I do or have done. We cross paths one time and that’s it. There aren’t any chain of links to follow, not any that would be obvious anyway.

The Bikeway-Rapist showed me the right way. He totally had the right idea, and he got away with his folly for an extremely long time. Police had no clue whatsoever. He made it simple by keeping it random.

His victims would jog along some lonely path with smiles on their faces and buds in their ears. They’d be listening to loud music, totally oblivious to their surroundings and him, who hid nearby. It’s almost as if they wanted someone to attack them Well, he did just that. He plucked them from the concrete path and then dragged them into the bushes. He gorged on a smorgasbord hotties, and no one knew who he was. What a life! It’s got that kinda utopian feel to it, right?

But he did two things wrong. He did it in the daylight. He also let his victims live. Sure, it’s fine to take what you like, but it’s also important to think about your long term future. Eventually, one of those bitches will talk. The one set of eyes in that square mile that saw everything that happened to her, remained alive and healthy. One of his victims had a good look at him, a sharp memory and a calm, well-versed mouth. She used it to talk at length, and our Happy-Larry got caught. Game over.

You could say he wanted capture as much as they wanted rape.

The moral of this story is: Don’t worry about how to hide a body, look at the kill location and choose the right victim.

Don’t use freezers, acid and don’t dig holes.

Pure Evil and Kindness

Kill strangers in desolate place and let them drop just before the rain falls. -A

“Forman’s writing style is artful, with the protagonist Mitchell’s warped thought processes masterfully exposed. The author has a powerful and vivid command of language and his word pictures are stark and disturbingly real.”

– Linda J Bettenay, author of ‘Secrets Mothers Keep’ and ‘Wishes For Starlight’.

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