How To Hide A Body Properly (next time)

Assuming you didn’t get caught the first time (and you’re not reading this post from behind bars) you’ll probably want to know how to do it better the next time you’re in need of disposing of a victim.

Luck isn’t always going to save you. There are far too many cameras these days and too much science behind modern police investigations to guarantee anonymity or legal immunity. Proper preparation before a kill is the only way to ensure you stay out of trouble and well away from jail.

Hiding A Body

You’re among friends. When I was starting out, resources for this subject were few and far between. No one showed me anything. I had to teach myself most of what I know, learning all I could as I went along. I was so lucky not to get pinched. So, without prejudice, let me tell you the things that made me into a successful serial killer today.

Basically, I’m a lazy person. It’s a character flaw that I’ve never grown out of. Digging a hole is not my idea of fun. I’ve always taken the easy way out by looking for a ditch or a drain to hide a body in. I was so naïve, so bloody foolish too, and self-centred, especially when I did my first one. I thought I was a goner for sure. Fortunately, rain fell between the moment I dumped the body and when it was found. I didn’t plan it that way, it just happened. Any evidence I may have left behind was conveniently washed away in the deluge. If became my hallmark. I learned how to refine the process, using the weather to assist my cause.

My redeeming quality (if you could call it that) is that I have patience, a lot of it. I can bite my tongue for years at a time before doing anything about it. My anger at an indiscretion is delayed, which means a lot of time passes between action and reaction. I let myself stew in boiling hatred and then when it’s ripe and I’m seething with fury, I choose my place, my time and my perfect person to receive its wrath. It stands to reason that the protracted time gap also adds confusion to every investigation. Everyone expects a recent encounter to be a possible triggering event, not one that’s decades old.

Avoiding cameras and witnesses should also be taken into consideration.

In the USA, there are 92 people per square mile. If you discount dashcams, security CCTVs, and every mobile phone camera that’s out there, that’s 184 eyes looking around that mile at any one time. It’s almost impossible to do anything without someone knowing or photographing it. Get it wrong and it’s all over.

My killing ground has a much lower population density. There’s just 1 person in that same square mile. As a result of this wonderful statistic, I don’t do much with the bodies after I’m done with them. I leave them where they fall and then let nature do the rest. It works fine. In twenty years, I’ve not been caught… but I still choose my times and places for kills carefully.

The summers are stiflingly hot and humid in my hometown. A body that’s open to this climate decomposes fast. If I pick the right night to commit a murder, say, before a drenching thunderstorm, most of the evidence is destroyed immediately. A scorching sun burns off anything that’s left over. A half-melted body makes their time of death that much more difficult for those trying to figure it out.

And then there are the victims.

I choose strangers. They have no historical associations with me. We cross paths one time and that’s it. There isn’t any chain of links to follow. The victim merely resembles someone else I despise, that’s all. That’s why they appear to be totally random. In many aspects, they are.

The Bikeway Rapist gave me this idea. He got away with his folly for a long time. Police had absolutely no clue who did all those women. He made it hard for the police because he kept his victims random. But he did three things wrong: He always did what he did on a bikeway. He acted spontaneously, and he also let his victims live. The one set of eyes in that square mile that saw everything remained alive. All it took was someone’s great memory to change the game for our beloved comrade.

Bodies will always be found. The perfect hiding place for one doesn’t exist. If you can make it to a spot to hide one, someone else can make it there to find it too. Assume all bodies are findable, this way you can work on the elements of a murder you can control.

The moral of my story is: Don’t react immediately. Be patient. Let your rage simmer. Select a victim who isn’t the one you really want to kill but instead, someone who symbolises them.

Pure Evil and Kindness

Kill those strangers in desolate places and let them drop just before the rain falls. The stipulations are many, I know, but I’m a seasoned killer. It works for me every single time.

Happy hunting! -A

Five women’s bodies are discovered after the nights of thunderstorms. Their spouses are suspected of the crimes, but it becomes clear that someone else is responsible. There’s no blood and few clues. A storm photographer specialising in taking lightning pictures may be the only witness.


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